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February 25, 2005
Requiem for The Spanish Dead
The great geometrical winter constellations
Lift up over the Sierra Nevada,
I walk under the stars, my feet on the known round earth.
My eyes following the lights of an airplane,
Red and green, growling deep into the Hyades.
The note of the engine rises, shrill, faint,
Finally inaudible, and the lights go out
In the southeast haze beneath the feet of Orion.
As the sound departs I am chilled and grow sick
With the thought that has come over me. I see Spain
Under the black windy sky, the snow stirring faintly,
Glittering and moving over the pallid upland,
And men waiting, clutched with cold and huddled together,
As an unknown plane goes over them. It flies southeast
Into the haze above the lines of the enemy,
Sparks appear near the horizon under it.
After they have gone out the earth quivers
And the sound comes faintly. The men relax for a moment
And grow tense again as their own thoughts return to them.
I see the unwritten books, the unrecorded experiments,
The unpainted pictures, the interrupted lives,
Lowered into the graves with the red flags over them.
I see the quick gray brains broken and clotted with blood,
Lowered each in its own darkness, useless in the earth.
Alone on a hilltop in San Francisco suddenly
I am caught in a nightmare, the dead flesh
Mounting over half the world presses against me.
Then quietly at first and then rich and full-bodied,
I hear the voice of a young woman singing.
The emigrants on the corner are holding
A wake for their oldest child, a driverless truck
Broke away on the steep hill and killed him,
Voice after voice adds itself to the singing.
Orion moves westward across the meridian,
Rigel, Bellatrix, Betelgeuse, marching in order,
The great nebula glimmering in his loins.
- Kenneth Rexroth
(Ed's Note: You wake up in the morning to read a poem like this. What a fabulous excuse to return to bed again...last day of freedom - so to quote a friend...and so last day of lazing in bed...zzz)
Posted by lainey at 07:46 AM | Comments (1)
February 24, 2005
And now I'm occupied with anything to stay alive
Will you blame me when I'm gone
Given the company I'm certain of my specialty
Hanging on to you I never thought I'm killing someone
-Superjesus, Gravity
Posted by lainey at 12:55 AM | Comments (0)
Tues afternoon was spent at Spinelli's. My Ipod on table - earplugs in Shan's and K's ears, K's discman on the table and his cd pouch. I wondered why his CD pouch followed wherever he went, he said it was for moments like then. We talked about music - more music - some films - then music again.
And he started raving about Superjesus's Gravity.
On my way home, I dug out that track. Been in my comp since the Melbourne days, but I've never heard it. Now, I can't get it out of my head.
Friends are made of these. Music, films and cigarettes.
Posted by lainey at 12:51 AM | Comments (0)
February 23, 2005
Music for The Rainy Day
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
-Fly Me To The Moon
Posted by lainey at 05:57 PM | Comments (0)
February 22, 2005
The World In Malgudi
Been re-reading R K Narayan's Malgudi Days - a series of short stories based on a fictitious town, Malgudi. I first read the book because we had to do it for O Levels. But now, reading it is none the torture, but sheer joy instead. Narayan is really quite a magnificent writer. He crafts his tales with subtle irony, weaving stories of poignancy and humour. His characters are reflections of human nature, so true yet so easily overlooked.
Now on trains, I am engrossed by his people of Malgudi. Seemingly comic, yet heartbreakingly real and sorrowful.
Posted by lainey at 11:17 PM | Comments (0)
Better Off Somewhere Else
There are occasions when I read articles of people(famous or not) dying(by their own hand or not) and I get hit - like everyone else - by the shock and suddenness of it. Then sometimes, upon reflection (usually on the suicides), I think - how nice! What reprieve! he/she is in a better place now.
Sometimes, for some people, Death might not be a bad thing. Perhaps this is the ultimate eternal optimist in me speaking.
Posted by lainey at 02:37 AM | Comments (0)
February 21, 2005
Red Wine Sunset
Posted by lainey at 02:56 PM | Comments (0)
Sunday in San Diego
Insomniac last night, I looked through my pictures and suddenly recalled a past life. A life when I was in love with the Californian coast and in love in San Diego. A life of speed, beaches, superbig supermarkets and movie-like sunsets. I can't be further from that life now, but the beauty of Mission Beach, even when Memory has turned sour, still makes me smile and yearn for Californian dreamin' again someday.
Posted by lainey at 02:44 PM | Comments (0)
Why We Cook
Good article on the joy of cooking and it comes with a delicious recipe too.
Shwang? Try it? ;)
Posted by lainey at 02:41 PM | Comments (0)
Alcholic Society
Is there too much drink in our youth culture? Or just in our society in general?
Now I feel guilty about my nightcaps. -blush-
Posted by lainey at 02:28 PM | Comments (0)
Hell and Loathing for Oneself
Hunter S. Thompson, author of Hell and Loathing in Las Vegas, killed himself at the age of 67. Another tortured artist bites the dust.
Posted by lainey at 02:16 PM | Comments (0)
February 20, 2005
Found Out
Innocent
What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
Uh-oh, Shan will laugh her head off and so agree with this!
Posted by lainey at 04:09 PM | Comments (3)
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay
Posted by lainey at 03:17 AM | Comments (0)
February 17, 2005
Everything But The Band
Interview with Ben Watts - onehalf of the band Everything But The Girl. My solution to a rainy night.
He's a DJ now.
Posted by lainey at 11:01 PM | Comments (0)
Laughing Matter
You know how we always say that God has a sense of humour?
Here's the proof. :)
Posted by lainey at 01:32 AM | Comments (0)
Ebert is Funny!
Famed film critic, Roger Ebert, does a funny Q&A with the New York Times Magazine. He seems really quirky. I think I like his personality more than his reviews.
I just find his fascination with the rice cooker totally adorable. Think will try to cook pasta with the rice cooker ONE day.
Can we ever like a reviewer for their REVIEWS?
Posted by lainey at 01:07 AM | Comments (1)
February 16, 2005
Peaceful
The incredible tranquility found at Borobudur. There is something about Buddha's face that just makes one feel that everything is gonna be alright. And there are so many of Buddha's statues at Borobudur. I just hope they can reconstruct all the temples soon and find all the missing heads one day.
Posted by lainey at 11:29 PM | Comments (0)
Works of Art
Seeing the Javanese rice terraces had always been a fantasy of mine since I saw pic of them in my social studies textbook when I was in primary school. So, a trip to see Mt Merapi (the very active volcano) meant that I got the unexpected treat of seeing them rice terraces. Totally took my breath away. Alot of artists were painting God's work of art. I like how the artist's work juxtaposed with God's artful creation.
Posted by lainey at 10:26 PM | Comments (0)
February 10, 2005
Crush
Reason why I think I might be a literary snob - wannabe:
Today, while idle-chatting, a cousin mentioned Dan Brown and Distant Relative's boyfriend professed he had never heard of him. This happened after we discussed Chaucer, Milton and Jorge Luis Borges and I just wanted to grab and hug him. Finally! Someone who isn't part of THAT pack who is nuts about him. I wanted to steal him from Distant Relative there and then and make him mine. We could then live happily ever after in literary heaven.
'Cept it dawned upon me that I might not be good enough for him. Because even though I staunchly refuse to read The Da Vinci Code, I still do know who Dan fucking Brown is.
Damn.
Not good enough for the man of my dreams, as usual.
Posted by lainey at 01:54 AM | Comments (0)
February 08, 2005
"Can I have some, please?"
Village kids standing at the gate trying to get some of the party candy we were giving out to the kids at the Orphanage during the Christmas party.
We later got flak from the orphanage's director for giving the villagers food for the orphans.
There, I understood that there is never enough. We can never do enough and we can never help everyone.
Posted by lainey at 03:01 PM | Comments (1)
February 06, 2005
Wrong Target
I would like to tell the Penis Enlargement spams that I do not come equipped with a dick. And even if I do, I will probably have a huge one. So no matter what, I do not EVER require your services. Prozac, Zoloft - maybe.
But never Penis Enlargement. So quit it already!
Posted by lainey at 04:57 PM | Comments (0)
February 04, 2005
The Need To Feed
I derive satisfaction from cooking for people, especially my family. So this afternoon, I cooked aglio olio pasta with Chicken and Brocolli and Sis drove by to pack some while Dad readily agreed on the phone that I should leave some for him when he comes home at about midnight.
And I am happy. To have cooked for my family.
Now, if only Mom would eat my cooking one day. And I couldn't post a pic because my camera ran out of battery.
Posted by lainey at 02:13 PM | Comments (0)
February 02, 2005
The Imaginary Dinner Party
It is 3 in the morning and I have to be awake in 2 hours. I contemplated sleeping or resting but I don't. Instead, I listen to music and read articles while surfing for recipes online. I imagine I will be cooking. I plan menus and make pretend-guestlists. I think of what to wear and how to set the table. I even pick out the music and decide on the playlist sequence.
My guests will not know each other. And even if they do, it is only through brief acquaintance. But this dinner will bring them together. We will start the evening awkward. Commenting about the food, the weather and perhaps asking each other about work.
Then slowly, as the red wine seeps into our system, we start giving opinions. First on the music being played. Some will like it, some will not. But they will all laugh because it is so predictably Elaine. Then we start discussing about the movies we've just seen because Elaine efferverscently gushes about the Bangkok International Film Festival. We start talking about the latest films, upcoming films, the classics and Desperate Housewives. Some of us watch TV programmes, some of us don't. There is teasing, name-calling. Sides are taken, mock-battlelines drawn.
Someone takes out a book suddenly. He is excited about a passage he has read on his way to dinner. He reads and another friend exclaims excitedly that she loves the book. The conversation veers towards books. What is trash and what is not? Who are our favourite authors? Quotes are thrown out. People are interrupted mid-sentence. Everyone is in one excited frenzy.
Dessert is served. A pineapple cheesecake. I explain why I made it. My Aussie friend's mother's special recipe. Her husband claimed he married her just for the cheesecake. I start reminiscing about Australia and then my travels. How I inevitably miss every country I go to. And everyone starts talking again. Exchanging travel anecdotes. Some travel paths have intertwined and laughter peals through the dining room because shared experiences are always beautiful. Someone spills the coffee and everyone jumps up, trying to help. It's okay, I say. Keep the conversation going. It's just some coffee.
It gets late. One of us has to wake up early tomorrow. Another one of us live on the other side of the island. But our farewells drags on for another 40 minutes. Farewells leading to further conversation. Contacts are exchanged. Someone suggests another dinner party - this time on the other side of the island. We agree. Delirious from the wine and company. We would have agreed to anything.
Hugs. Kisses. Goodbye.
An enchanted evening.
But everyone goes their separate ways, too busy too meet up again until it's too late.
Even so, this is still the most ideal scenario. The truth is, the dinner will turn out awful. People will talk in cliques. A couple of guests will be left out and uncomfortable. We will agree on different films. Some of us think fiction is crap. Others think self-help books are for idiots. The situation will become tense. The cheesecake will be too sweet and the crust will crumble. Someone will always talk too much. Someone will always be too quiet. Everyone can't wait to leave.
And thus, the dinner party can never happen.
Posted by lainey at 03:18 AM | Comments (0)
February 01, 2005
Exoticising Hinduism
A couple of friends are in awe with the eroticism in Hinduism, thus perceiving Hinduism as a "cool" religion.
Perhaps this article can throw light on how it could/may be a Western construct and a postmodern malady.
Posted by lainey at 12:15 AM | Comments (0)