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February 28, 2004
In America
(I posted this on the film discussion forum)
Watched it yesterday because I was enticed by the bright lights of New York City and the little girls when I saw the trailer. It gave so much more than I expected. I'm not going to critically dissect it as most of you have done because sometimes, you go to the movies and all you ask for is that a movie takes you away and makes your heart break.
I thought the movie started slow, but steady...gradually showing us the intricate ties in the family and how, legal or illegal, they were trying to survive the best they can despite the fact that shit happens - the death of a precious member of the member, being in reality where dreams (of being an actor) collides with having to make ends meet, when life is more than living (or not living) for oneself but for the others who matter.
Maybe it is an occupational hazard, but having spent more than half of the film empathising with the adults, it hit hard, very very hard, that the young one made known that she was just as justified to feel pain from her brother's death. Role reversal when the young ones taught the adults how to live, how to move on, how to put the past behind and be happier. Role reversal when it's the adults who can't move on and are stuck and needed the young ones to push them to their "senses". Just broke my heart so much that I was so surprised and embarrassed that I was a snivelling idiot at the end of the movie.
No, I would like to think I cried at the movie NOT because it was a sappy movie or that I am an over-sentimental idiot. I think I cried so much towards the end (something I hardly do anymore) because it just hit me right in the heart suddenly after tugging its heartstrings softly throughout the entire movie. It just hit and the tear ducts flowed.
So I don't care much about the critical aspects (though absolutely miffed at the badly censored bit) . I only care that it did what a good movie always does for me - remove me from my reality and make the movie's reality mine for the duration of the movie, and a little while after that.
(rambling too much cuz this is an early morning post)
Posted by lainey at 03:53 AM | Comments (0)
February 27, 2004
Friday Five
You have just won one million dollars:
1. Who do you call first?
My mom! :)
2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
A Kate Spade bag lor.. :p and maybe some form of portable music. Discman going berserk soon.
3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
A vacuum cleaner for the other half. Haha!
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
Yeah...to parents, sis and grandparents.
5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
I will invest, but I have no idea how to invest..so maybe employ some strange financial planner.
Posted by lainey at 08:57 AM | Comments (2)
February 24, 2004
Funny Irony..
If white men are stupid, and Michael Moore is a white man...
Syllogism will say that Michael Moore is....ironic!
;)
Posted by lainey at 01:10 AM | Comments (0)
February 21, 2004
This Girl's Life
Invariably, if you ask me what I think of my life now, I will give you a look of horror.
I do not like my life now. And I worry where this existence might bring me.
If you ask me what might make me very happy, I will tell you that it will be very pleasant if the CIA comes to my place in the middle of the night, kidnaps me and gives me a brand new identity to be wrought out in the middle of Siberia.
Yes. I loathe this life this much right now.
There had been times when I loathed the skin I was in. But never once did I ever complain that much that I would want another life. I'm a fatalistic person, always determined to live my life the fullest I can. Always determined to live the life bestowed upon me the best I can. And being one who believe that life circumstances make me who I am, I can't imagine changing any bit of my life because I couldn't imagine another Elaine.
Today, I realised I loathed my life because I'm turning into ANOTHER Elaine.
I'm sick of intrusive tuition kids and tuition kids' parents who want nothing but more more more tuition sessions. I'm sick of them who refuse to let me stop giving tuition to their kids even after I tell them how I just can't cope with my current schedule.
I'm sick of routine and schedule that I have to lead. Sick of the inefficiency of the Institution that I am in, the myopia of my peers and sometimes, lecturers. I'm sick of the system and how ineffective it is.
Most of all, I'm sick of myself. That I'm not strong enough enough to endure all of this, that I'm not tolerant, not patient and not normal enough to be glad with my lot. I'm tired of myself for being so tired. For being not assertive enough to say no firmly. For taking more than I can bear.
Of course, there are bits of my life I am happy with. My human relations with those who MATTER are going well, I've left a past that did nothing but destroy my soul behind. I get along with my parents and I still manage to remain social despite the odds. I stay in touch with close friends and make the effort to meet up with them; my acquaintances think I am sunshine bear and come to me in confidence (too soon! too fast!). I hold intellectual conversations with my peers and I've even learnt to do abit of small talk and gossip.
But I know too, these are at risk of crashing. If I don't rein myself in, if I don't rein my life in. If I don't start loving my life. You will have a zombie for a daughter, a zombie for a friend, a zombie for a girlfriend. A zombie or a monster. Either way, it will be terrible.
Am I scared?
Of course I am.
For a person whose world crashed THAT badly once, it should never crash again.
I need to read, I need to reflect. I need to use my blardy brain. I need to run, I need to eat healthy, eat regularly. Not chew on cookies in the day to sustain myself and eat ravenously for dinner.
I need to stop smoking and stop drinking coffee.
This life is free-wheeling out of control.
This life is freewheeling out of control into the world of routine and lack of stimulus and inspiration.
This life is free-wheeling out of control into stagnation.
This life is cancer.
I'm so tired.
Posted by lainey at 10:18 AM | Comments (1)
More 21 Grams
Haha...funny article..
Posted by lainey at 10:09 AM | Comments (0)
February 19, 2004
Jonah Jnr's Buddy...
is patiently waiting for his arrival!!!! :)
Oh, by the way, please say hi to Huggy Bear :)
Posted by lainey at 07:45 AM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2004
Shopping List
There are some material acquisitions that have been on my mind of late.
I need to get:
1) A couch
2) A micro-wave oven
3) A laptop
4) A haversack
5) A straw bag
6) Eye cream
7) Exfoliant
8) Some form of portable music
I want to get:
1) My Kate Spade bag...
2) La Mer Lip Balm
3) A new pair of shades.
Wants and needs.
How does one even distinguish anything?
Posted by lainey at 10:11 AM | Comments (0)
February 08, 2004
bleahz.
bleahz.
Posted by lainey at 11:11 PM | Comments (0)
February 07, 2004
Gosh..if only they told me to avoid The Playboy and The Loverboy earlier, I would've escaped so much heartbreak..
http://devel.okcupid.com/personality?type=DBLD&g=2&o=1&h=165
I am...
The Priss
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLDf)
Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss.
Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy.
These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards.
Your exact opposite:
The Playstation
Random Gentle Sex Master
You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Playboy, The Loverboy
CONSIDER: The Manchild
Posted by lainey at 01:35 PM | Comments (0)
February 03, 2004
hee....ego boost :)
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by lainey at 04:22 PM | Comments (4)
February 02, 2004
Rain Rain Don't Go
It rained for a week, then stopped on a fair sunny Saturday. The sun shone and shone, relentless. I thought it was here to stay.
Then it started raining again.
I like the rain.
Posted by lainey at 11:12 PM | Comments (0)