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November 21, 2003
Filling in the Gaps of Silence
After three weeks, I've finally finished watching Magnolia. I really like the movie. Though the frogs bit did freak me out abit.
I like a good movie. But I'm still bored.
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Mom and I managed to get two books from the very fabulous Woodlands Regional Library (all libraries should be like that!) -
1) The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
2) The Burnt Out Case - Graham Greene
3) I think Mom borrowed something about Mme Mao...
I read the first few pages of Wind-Up Bird Chronicle and liked it immediately. So I thought, being 600 pages long, it's more suited for eternal flights and miserable transits, so yes, I'm packing it along with me. I've decided to settle for Greene's Burnt-Out Case again.
I always go back to Graham Greene. However unhealthy he might be for me. :)
Posted by lainey at 11:06 PM | Comments (3)
November 19, 2003
This Living Death/This Dying Life
I've just finished reading The Hours, and it's a wonderously, wonderfully written book. As mentioned before, I've never watched the movie and I do not intend to. The book itself is already so breathtakingly beautiful on its own, I do not think film and images can better the exquisite writing of Cunningham. And I do not want any film to taint the beauty of this masterpiece.
I am absolutely blown away.
Will someone buy me the book for Christmas? :)
If not, I will buy it upon my first paycheck.
Gosh...it's totally exhilarating. I'm alive again. :)
Read the excerpt here.
"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out of windows or drown themselves or take pills; more die by accident; and most of us, the vast majority, are slowly devoured by some disease or, if we're very fortunate, by time itself. There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more."
Posted by lainey at 10:24 PM | Comments (2)
I need to go to
I need to go to work now, but before I leave, I need to tell all of you that...The Hours by Michael Cunningham is a rather splendid book indeed.
I never did watch the movie, but it doesnt matter. Because, it is a very splendid book indeed. :)
Posted by lainey at 01:54 PM | Comments (0)
November 18, 2003
Love, actually
Went to the gala premiere of Love,Actually (Thanks, Shan!) and loved the movie totally. The premise of it was that....love is actually all around. I guess the director tried to ignore the fact that there are lots of things around, besides love.
But it's really good and all the good brit actors are in there. Go catch it. :)
Posted by lainey at 09:59 PM | Comments (0)
Everyone says I'm made of water...
YOU ARE ETHER!
Well, well... you are the mysterious Fifth Element!
The Fifth Element, Ether, is used or conjured
in many ancient religions or magics, but is not
something found on this plane. Those that have
been able to make the ascension to the Ether
are truly evolved people, possessed with
heightened senses of intelligence, perception,
and empathy that others simply don't have.
Everyday possessions aren't of much interest -
you are beyond that. You tend to gravitate to
open spaces, changing environments, and won't
saddle yourself with one style or decision.
Indeed, just one type of career isn't of
interest to you either, as your need to
constantly continue evolving and growing won't
allow you to settle down. Sadly, this need may
also impact your social life as well. You tend
to have few friends as not many people
understand you, and fewer relationships because
you simply outgrow them.
Don't be discouraged by this, though. You are truly
one of the unique, for very few people have
been able to achieve this type of
enlightenment. Be proud and use your knowledge
and experiences to teach and help others as
much as you can. Good luck and congratulations!
Now that you have an idea of your strengths and
weaknesses, why don't you put them to the test?
If you follow my lead I can take you to a game
world where you can explore different sides of
yourself and taste real power. Just follow my
lead, enter a name...
...and all
the world can be yours.
Which of the 5 Prime Elements are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted by lainey at 12:31 AM | Comments (0)
November 17, 2003
Tu Me Manque
Tonight with words unspoken
You said that I’m the only one
But will my heart be broken
When the night (when the night)
Meets the morning (meets the morning) sun
I’ll like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now and I won’t ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow
I crawled out of bed wondering when this insomnia will stop. I would like to have undisturbed sleep for more than 2 hours someday, please thank you. I've been feeling like this since almost forever and I can't remember when was the last time I had a good night's sleep. Mom tells me it screws my body up and well, hello, I've not been under the weather for nothing.
I wonder if it's alcohol, smoke or bad sleeping/dietary habits that's to blame.
Funny how I eat worse now that I'm in the comfort of Singapore. Mom's cooking and all that hawker food.
I don't like.
I got up and blasted two versions of Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? Weezer's and Carole King's. And it just came like a wave. The feeling of fear. The feeling of missing. Someone, anyone and everyone. Have you ever felt like that? Missing everyone and noone in particular.
I don't like sleepless. But I might have to make do with sleepless till the end of time.
I don't like a screwedup body, but tell me what to do dammit!
I don't like missing, but it just hits me in waves and I wish someone can hold me tight and tell me:
Yes, I will still love you tomorrow.
Then suddenly, it came back to me. For a while, I've had that someone telling me that whenever I need it to be told.
Tu Me Manque.
Posted by lainey at 01:19 AM | Comments (0)
November 16, 2003
Saying Goodbye
I found a lovely way to share a wonderful Chinese poem with everyone.
It's great to own a digital camera, and discover the macro mode ;)
Here's the translation.
Putting on a front despite being emotional,
The only response being the inability to smile,
The candle, being kind-hearted, says goodbye on behalf,
And cries till dawn for you.
Ok...I'm bad at translating. Anyone who can do better, please help! :)
Posted by lainey at 01:38 AM | Comments (0)
November 12, 2003
In one of the dreamscapes
In one of the dreamscapes of Akira Kurosawa's Dreams, the protogonist meets an English-speaking Martin Scorsese masquerading as Van Gogh. He proceeds to run through Van Gogh's masterpieces.
I just wish, my dreams can be like that.
Posted by lainey at 03:02 AM | Comments (0)
November 10, 2003
tu me manque
Sometimes I feel like I'm glad to be free,
Sometimes I still want your arms around me
Sometimes I'm glad to have left you behind,
The Crazy English Summer has put you back on my mind.
-Crazy English Summer, Faithless
Posted by lainey at 01:16 PM | Comments (0)
Sunday Fun
Today I learnt that taking photos OF little kids is extremely tired, but rewarding.
Today I also learnt I have a bunch of absolutely cute cousins I don't quite know and I should start getting to know.
Today, I also learnt how many cousins I have and their names and their ages.
Today I learnt Shame.
Want to see more?
Go here.
Posted by lainey at 01:12 AM | Comments (1)
November 07, 2003
The Other World
Movies I've seen the past week:
At the theatre:
Saturday:
1) Balzac et la petite tailleuse chinoise (French Film Fest)
- touched me so it made me cry. it's so beautiful i bought the DVD so that I can share it with everyone :)
2) The Wisdom of a Pretzel (Israeli Film Fest)
- life about twentysomethings? life about love in the modern world. life about us. Shan and I were shocked into silence, we couldn't discuss the film thereafter. There's no point. There's no answers. The questions will always be there. We live in a fucked up world.
Sunday:
3) Desperado Square (Israeli Film Fest)
- It's when real life mimics reel life. A very subtle film with intense emotions boiling inside. Shown with a film within the film. They don't quite make movies like that in Hollywood anymore.
Wednesday:
4) Jeux d'enfants (French Film Festival)
- I see it as the antithesis of Amelie. It's love that is spiteful, it's love that victimize. It's love that ends eternally in the wrongest way. And yet the colours and the fairytale features that's so reminiscent of Amelie, mocks the idea of romance more.
On DVD,
4) Bad Boys 2
-Will Smith is so hot. :)
5) The Italian Job
- What is Edward Norton doing in a film like this? Charlize Theronz is so hot. And Marky Mark does not have the qualities of a leading actor. But whee..the minis are good.
6) Chasing Papi
- This Latino-American film. Mini-budget, totally hilarious and yes, Spanish sounds so good to my ears. :) I really enjoyed it, surprisingly.
addendum: In Arthur Miller's The Glass Menagerie, Tom escapes to the movies to avoid his real life.
Posted by lainey at 11:27 AM | Comments (0)
November 05, 2003
Speaking Out
Wrote this on Monday, and got Shwang to polish it for me. Sent it to STForum. Hopefully they publish it.
I refer to the MediaCorp drama series "My Love, My Home" which is telecast every weekday from 9pm to 10pm, in particular, the episode shown on the 3th of November 2003.
In one scene of that episode, Hailan, a16-year old girl broke down in the face of pressure from her elder brother in relation to her 'O" Level Examinations. This resulted in a panic attack during her Mathematics paper. Thereafter, she was taken away and diagnosed by a psychiatrist.
In response to this scene, I would like to point out some scathing mistakes made by the scriptwriters. In the show, Hailan was diagnosed as suffering from depression. However, the psychiatrist in the show proceeded to list out symptoms of obsessive compulsive behaviour instead. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is characterised by obsessive thoughts and/or compulsive behaviors that significantly interfere with normal life. Obsessions are unwanted, recurring, and disturbing thoughts which the person cannot suppress and can cause overwhelming anxiety. Compulsions are repetitive, ritualized behaviors that the person feels driven to perform to alleviate the anxiety caused by the obsessions. Depression, on the other hand, is a disease with symptoms including persistent emotions of worthlessness, sadness, lethargy and loss of appetite. As such, it is clear that there is a distinction between the two forms of illnesses which the show has failed to point out.
After the diagnosis, Hailan was taken home to recuperate. While at home, her condition took a turn for the worst and she was haunted by hallucinations, taunting her for her inability to study and perform academically. Hence, it seems that in addition to her suffering from obsessive compulsive behaviour as well as the initial diagnosis of depression, she has now developed schizophrenia. Evidently, she is suffering from three mental illnesses at the same time. It seems clear that the scriptwriters are simply picking and choosing symtoms at will without properly understanding the distinction between these three kinds of illnesses. In particular, they are confusing the symptoms of a common mental illness, depression with that of schizophrenia, one that is much more rare.
The government has been trying to remove the social stigma attached to mental illnesses, especially depression in our society. It has been encouraging people with depression to come out and seek the necessary treatment. However, the stigma of mental illnesses cannot be removed if the public is not educated on the different categories of mental illnesses and their symptoms. In the show, Hailan exploded into a confused barrage of symptoms which will only indicate to viewers that depression is synonmous with insanity as hallucinations are assumed to be common symptoms of depression. I believe that this misinformation will only prejudice viewers in their attitudes towards the depressed and discourage actual sufferers who are in need of help from coming forward,
As such, I hope that Mediacorp will pay more attention to the accurate portrayal of mental diseases in its serials.
Posted by lainey at 04:26 AM | Comments (3)
November 04, 2003
Because I'm awake and bored...
Saw this on the bulletin board of Friendster, posted by grid.
I'm going to email this out too, y'know? I'm so bored. heh.
1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
let's see, it's 2.37pm and I just woke up. Today's an anamoly tho. I try to wake up in time for lunch. But I don't eat lunch.
2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS
PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Edna St Vincent Millay
3. GOLD OR SILVER?
white gold
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
Desperado Square, from the Israeli Film Festival
5. FAVOURITE TV SHOW?
sex and the city
6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
if I do eat breakfast, it'd be muesli. or a glass of warm water with lemon
7. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
Shan. She quells my boredom.
8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
no
9.WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
life.
10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
i'm chinese. no middle name. chinese name or lainey
11. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY?
beach or country. beach in country...
12.SUMMER OR WINTER?
winter
13. YUM?
ice-cream
14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
buttered
15. FAVOURITE CAR?
Nissan Skyline or that Lexus MPV that's been going around
16. FAVOURITE SANDWICH FILLING?
mood-dependant, really.
17. FAVOURITE TYPE OF MUSIC?
don't play favourites. dependant on mood, occasion and company
19. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE?
hypocrisy
20. FAVOURITE FLOWER?
daisy
21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW
LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO SPEND ALL?
nah, don't want to spend all. must keep for rainy day
22. DO YOU WEAR PYJAMAS?
yeah, or nighties.
23. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Brown
24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
three
25 WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE?
Brittany, France
Melbourne, Australia
or some coastal town in California
26. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
hell, no
27. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
currently i like weekends
28. RED OR WHITE WINE?
red
29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
can't remember. probably nothing much
30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
No
31.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Candide - Voltaire, The Black Album - Hanif Kureishi, Damned to Fame - The Biography of Samuel Beckett
32. FAVOURITE BOARD GAMES?
scrabble, chess
33. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
New Yorker
34. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
the smell of rain, smell of babies, smell of daisies, smell of the morning, smell of the combination of tobacco and redwine, david's smell :)
35. COMFORT FOOD?
ice-cream, congee and soup
36.FAVOURITE SOUND?
pitter patter of rain, crashing of waves. children's laughter
37. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
being lied to. and people bailing out.
38. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN
YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
what time is it?
39.FAVOURITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
mos burger - for the iced milk tea
41. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF
MONEY..."
i would buy my mom everything and make her happy
43. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
yes, used to sleep with jonah but now I sleep with sasa.
44. STORMS, COOL OR SCARY?
cool and scary
47. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE
TIME..."
hell, ive all the time in the world now
48. DO YOU EAT STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
yes
49. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT
WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
highlights of ash blonde -winks at grid-
50. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
a box of letters, sasa (oops), my manuals for all my machines and a pair of goggles
lol.
Posted by lainey at 01:49 PM | Comments (0)
November 03, 2003
scattered flesh
its sad ainnit
so many of us hole-filled people ard
but nobody can help any one else
why didnt God
just take us into pieces
and use two for one
and form more complete people
waste of flesh.
waste of soul.
because God doesn't determine who we become.
we are given the freedom of choice.
we carved those holes out of us.
and we should fill them back up on our own.
Posted by lainey at 12:29 AM | Comments (0)