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March 20, 2003
Say A Little Prayer
I try not to write about my political views here, because I've had enough of airing them out during class discussions or over coffee with friends. Also, I am well aware that this is a non-political site, as much as I'm trying to figure out what to do with this site.
My sis spoke to me about an hour ago. Telling me not to worry, telling me not to worry. And she ended with the best advice she can give and she always gives since I gave my heart to him:
"Say a little prayer for him ok? Everyday."
The world is indeed on the verge of falling apart. And none of us can rightfully claim that we know what's going to happen. For those who know me more personally, you would definitely know why I'm in the position to worry. No, I do not have more right to worry than you, but what is happening is and has always been personal to me. And this is another reason why I can't air my political views here. Cognitive dissonance will ensue. What my political views present definitely contradict with my personal wish for what's happening right about now. Definitely.
Alot of friends have been concerned ever since the strike started, some have been concerned earlier on when the ultimatum was dished out, most have been concerned ever since the shit between two certain men in the world began. They asked me not to worry. And they try to tell me how safe his situation is. And I know, they are trying to help me alleviate my worries.
Question is, have I ever confided in you HOW worried I am?
Do not tell me it's gonna be alright. Do not tell me not worry. I probably know more about the work he's doing, the nature of his work, and the degree of security available for him, more than any one of you here. This I can say safely - I've done research, I've heard from the horse's mouth, hell, I've even heard from the horses's mates' mouths. Trust, I have an unbelievable wealth of knowledge about the situation in the world now and the organisation he is in, much more than any of you. Much more than I would like to possess. Much more than I'd ever imagined ever possessing.
I mean, hell, I'm just a girl, I'm just about daisies and fluff. Arn't I?
So don't tell me not to worry. Because you are not in any position to do so. I don't worry any more than I've worried before. I'm worrying the same everyday. Ever since I've chosen to give my heart to him. Yes. I knew what I was getting myself into and I am in it now. Whether I like it or not. No matter how estranged we are. I love him. I have to worry.
But not any less. Not any more. And nothing any of you will comprehend.
COmprehend how one can be worried. So worried. So damn worried. I worry if he eats right, I worry if he drinks right. I worry if he smokes too much, sleeps too little, drives too fast, races too often.
And even in times of peace, I worry about the nature of his job.
I can't do anything more, than perhaps to worry. Because I'm not there to look after him. And that's all I can do. I worry too, for my friends around the world, for my family back home. I've got a friend in Greece who is distressed for his family because hell, Greece is pretty damn near the area of conflict. I don't ask him not to worry. Because he has a damn right to. And I don't want to trivialise his right to worry for his loved ones. I can only ask him to take care, and believe in God, though I somehow think that didnt do much either. I worry because I'm not there with them.
So my sis presented me with the best solution ever. The best alternative next to worrying. To say a little prayer. For him. For the people I love. And that is perhaps, what I should start doing, if I really do care, and I really do love. And that is perhaps, what you guys should start doing too, if you really do care and want to be of help.
Just say a little prayer. For the world.
And get on with life. The best way your loved ones would want to see you getting on with life. I know I do.
I try, at least, I try.
Posted by lainey at March 20, 2003 12:12 PM
Comments
Let's be annoying. I for can say I know what's going to happen.
NOTHING! absolutely nothing. Without God there will be nothing :)
And If I am wrong ... :) Hehe we'll never know will we :) And those of you in heaven with me will be too good to blame me for this stupid post :) Eh lainey :)
Posted by: Irish at March 22, 2003 10:58 AM