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February 01, 2003
Silver Lining
Woke up after seven hours of nightmarish sleep. Woke up to three emails. Wow. Three emails is something. Best friend, ed and JY. Just about my three favouritest people in the world.
And in their own ways, they made me smile a little smile despite waking up to feel total bleakness. And they have no idea how I am even. Just people excited about CNY in their own ways. So even tho I woke up, not feeling the better that I had hoped I would, I have something to make me smile.
I'm really trying to positive.
Bleak. I still feel bleak.
Shall go to the library. Shall go running.
Running is good. Running will help. Running must help.
Am supposed to call Singapore at the family house - where everyone who matters will be. I don't feel like calling. I already sounded like a load of killjoy last night. Must I go through this again?
Then again, Mom sounded like a load of killjoy too.
Mom and I, two bitter human entities in this world. But we ain't allowing each other into our own worlds. That's the thing about life, worlds like these, only have space for one unique person.
fuck.fuck.fuck.
Posted by lainey at February 1, 2003 10:28 AM