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January 07, 2003
Weather Change
The weather turned from being intolerably sunny to its windy blasted chilly state. I think it might rain, I think it's going to rain and I worry because I forgot to bring my umbrella.
This is Melbourne. Land of screwed-up weather.
I took a long walk around campus, around the city just now. Just fitting in again. Just getting used to the nooks and crannies of a city I've learnt to call home.
Home in certain ways. I feel comfortable. Really comfortable in my own room. In the house. Though somewhat spooky, somewhat unsafe and I'm all alone there now. The irritating Aussie accent. The drunk men roaming the streets shouting I don't know what. The everything.
Melbourne is...charming. Without feelings.
Singapore is stifling, humid, grotesque, hectic, busy. But it has people who cares for me, people who love me.
In Singapore, I'm obliged because I care for everyone around me. Because I don't want to hurt anybody. Because I am responsible for alot of things and alot of people. And in so doing, I take on too much. Much more than I can handle.
In Melbourne, I don't have to care for anyone. I don't have to answer to anybody. I don't have to feel for anyone. And it's a two-way thing. In Melbourne, I learn to deal with things on my own. And it's no wonder why I blog alot more in Melbourne than when I'm in Singapore.
Cuz in Singapore, I have everyone to talk to. Mom, sis, friends.
In Melbourne, even getting people through a long-distance call is harder, and less successful.
Actually it's good. It makes me stronger. Less reliant on others.
I'm ok.
At least, I think I'm gonna be ok.
Posted by lainey at January 7, 2003 03:42 PM