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January 06, 2003
Dislocation
Came back. Back in Melbourne. The house is in a dirty, gross and slimey mess and now I'm torn between cleaning the house first or unpacking. Came home last night to a brilliant setting sun at a friggin nine pm. Charles picked me up and dispelled my fears of a burglary or haunted attack of sorts. We went for Nachos and pizza and grocery shopping thereafter. Hit the bed and crashed till this morning.
Life is strange. I don't quite know what to say. It seems like I've lost my voice or something. I can't think what is going on, or what happened in Singapore, or what is going to happen in Melbourne.
All I know is that life back here is going to be very different.
I'm on my own again.
No more late night phonecalls, drives and sleepovers with friends. No more constantly-ringing mobile phone. No more drinking, smoking and lack of exercise. No more free-wheeling feasting and round-the-clock parties.
No more friends within reach.
No more love within reach.
No. I'm on my own again and maybe I can pretend the past two weeks in Singapore was just a MTV-uesque dream. And censor certain bits.
Maybe.
For a while ok?
At least till I finish organising everything.
Listening to: A lot of Miles Davis for that tinge of nostalgia. Thank you Sis for the portable CD player.
And the Australia sun is too hot, too unrelenting, too grotesque. I have to stay indoors and I think I might just have to get a burn and/or a tan. argh. Too hot.
Too haphazard. Too confused. Too everything and nothing. I can't think. I can't write. I'm still in a daze. Maybe it is just jet-lag.
But I know it's something else.
Posted by lainey at January 6, 2003 09:49 AM