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December 22, 2002
Trying To Breathe
Everytime I sit in my room, I see the picture we took together last Christmas, so in love, so much hope, so happy, and I will gasp for breath. Unable to breathe, unable to think, and getting all affected.
So, in the midst of an asthmatic frenzy, I called/and woke a good friend up and yattered to her like never before. In a half-asleep state, she advised me to keep busy, get busy and induce a state of impossibility. Impossibility of any thought beyond my living life.
What the fuck does it all mean?
But I do. I get so busy. I go out from morn till night. And flit from an appointment to another. I'm so exhausted. But at least I dont have to look at that picture that often. I still think. But I know I can't afford to think so much.
Think of a him that is so far away. We don't know where the end of this strange long-distance relationship/un-relationship will take us. Hell. We don't even know when we will/can see each other again.
So in the meantime, I find other methods of occupying my thoughts, so that I can ignore the hole and the pain in my heart.
Will that filmsy band-aid hold for the time and distance that I have to endure? I can only wait and see.
I'm really trying. So cut me some slack, alright?
p/s: caught LOTR yesternight and it is -wow-. I don't have much testerone, but the battle scene was great and Legolas and Aragon are such great warriors. -swoonz- :)
Posted by lainey at December 22, 2002 09:46 PM
Comments
I could tell you that life means something, but that would just be lying.
Well, i don't believe in sugar coating.
Posted by: Silenus at December 23, 2002 01:51 AM